Questions!!

Comment

Comment by Jen on July 9, 2009 at 1:26pm

Hey there!

VERY important questions to ask:

THeir stance on selective reduction and abortion. Under what circumstances would they ask you to selectively reduce or have an abortion? Keep in mind that testing that can tell you for certain about things like spina bifida , etc cannot be done untl the 15th or 16th week of pregnancy.

What kind of relationship do they want with you during the pregnancy? After the birth?

If you have a c section, do you want your husband with youor are you going to let one of the IPs come in with you?

What is their communication style? Phone calls? Emails? etc.

How involved do they want to be?

Ask them an open ended question such as (tell me, in general, who you are.....) let them do alot of talking rather than answering yes or no questions all night.

What do they plan to tell the child about his or her creation?


The BEST advice I can give you is GO WITH YOUR GUT. If this is not someone you could honestly see yourself being friends with outside of surrogacy, dont work with them. Its like dating...they are on their best behavior now and everyone is excited, but the reality of surrogacy is that there are alot of emotional hurdles....

I have dealt with hundreds of matches and have found that your sixth sense...your gut instict....is usually right.