Have I Got A Deal For You!

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Permalink Reply by Jenn on July 2, 2009 at 12:09pm

Again, I wouldn't be tottally against it. I would have to feel a deep, deep connection to IM and feel that she were not shallow. Perhaps there are needs for Social Surrogacy....

If the IM is a high paid model who would lose her career from becoming pregnant or, as someone else pointed out, IM worked around chemicals that could affect the baby (although I don't see why her employers would allow her to work in another department for the short 9 months)

If, however, it were what I deem to be the worst case scenario I wouldn't do it. What would I consider to be the worst case scenario? A stay at home trophy wife whose husband makes 6 figures a year who spends her days on the tread mill in the morning and botox injections in the evening and would treat a surrogate as a lesser human being with the equivalent of a whipping boy from the dark ages to birth her child.

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Permalink Reply by Dana on July 2, 2009 at 12:25pm

I just went to this site. I was thinking this was an actual agency doing this. But from what I was directed to, it looked like it was just an article written to get people's opinions on this sort of surrogacy set up. Am I missing something?

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Permalink Reply by Ivory on July 2, 2009 at 1:51pm

The whole site confused the hell out of me...I don't believe an actual agency is responsible, but it is a site that could definately connect people with agencies. Nonetheless, it is a site that provides a lot of information and ideas about alternative methods of becoming a parent, and I still find it disturbing. I compare it to me posting something like that on the front page of surrogatemother.com...I'm not representing an agency, but I may be the first contact you have with the surrogacy community/resources. You can write comments on many of the pages on that site, but I think it is just for the editors to know what readers are enjoying/not enjoying.

Sorry if I was misleading at all in my initial post.

Thanks for your post!

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Permalink Reply by Ivory on July 2, 2009 at 1:04pm

A lot of good discussion going on...sidetracked at moments, but generally really good posts.

I am relieved to hear that I'm not just "old fashioned," and that this advertisement in question is tacky to most of you all, too. I am on the same page as several of you who are cool with consenting adults engaging in social surrogacy (though personally I don't like some versions of it like for stretch mark phobias), however, must surrogate mothers be advertised as a product? Too far in my opinion.

In regards to ethical advertising concerns with "commercial surrogacy," I personally believe that even when an institution (or part/s of one) has a commercial component, ethics are still important and can apply. For instance, I have a private practice which is essentially commercial (I do therapy for a profit), but my services are intimate in nature (as is surrogacy) and I find it to be my responsibility to choose how I advertise very carefully. I do some advertising, but I do so in a socially and ethically responsible way. I lay out what my services are and leave it up to the consumer to decide if my services fit his or her needs. I have seen ridiculous advertisements for therapy and the like as well which unethically promise cures and offer that therapy is more of a "thing" that you can just buy instead of a process and service. I am comfortable that I have ethically sound advertising, and I know that surrogacy-related businesses can do so as well...I've seen it done. Hopefully, any person who is serious about becoming a parent would not be won over by getting a "deal" on a baby.

Can't wait to see what else you have to say, and PLEASE keep bickering to a minimum so we can continue this great discussion :)

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Permalink Reply by Laura Pasquini on July 7, 2009 at 2:35am

It makes me wonder if they will administer the proper time to raise a child. The point of parenting is to put perspective on LIFE, not just get what everyone has just to have it. It really frustrates me when people who have the ability to conceive, choose vanity over all. I fear children in this environment will lack the ability to be confident and/or loved.

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Permalink Reply by Leanne1972 on July 8, 2009 at 11:50pm

Jenn - I totally agree with everything you said. I want to be give birth for a couple that cannot conceive together.


One thing for sure, the "ad" says the surrogate would get upwards of $18K. I know I'd charge upwards of $50K in that situation.

Leanne
TSx1 baby girl born February 4, 2009
TSx2 in the 2ww

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Permalink Reply by Serenity Reynolds on July 9, 2009 at 12:09pm

I agree. Parenting is a huge life change. If you can't deal with pregnancy and maintain your working lifestyle, then you wouldn't be able to handle having a baby who needs you all the time. Pregnancy was easy for me. Having a baby waking up all the time, changing diapers, clothes, etc. and being completely exhausted all the time was the hard part.

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Permalink Reply by TM on January 25, 2010 at 4:01am

I personally don't care one way or the other why one chooses surrogacy - it doesn't necessarily HAVE to be infertility-related or absent-uterus related.

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