I am really nervous about posting this as it's my first time on this site, and I am really very new to the idea of GS. From reading the postings here it seems like we are a bit of an unusual case. My husband and I are blessed with a loving 4 year old son. Had no problems conceiving -- in fact our son was conceived on our wedding night!
About 18 months ago, right around the time we started to go for #2 I suddenly became very ill with inflammation of the brain and spinal cord. I basically went numb from the shoulders down, couldn't walk, couldn't write, had double vision which required me to wear a patch, and a neurogenic bladder. In the end the docs couldn't figure out what caused the attack, but there's a high chance that what I have will come back, especially triggered by the physical stress of a pregnancy. Plus the attack left me with many residual problems, including a neurogenic bladder, which requires me to self cath and wear diapers, and causes endless kidney problems and twice has landed me in the hospital with sepsis. In short, OB doesn't recommend I carry a baby -- too many complications and risks. So here I am.
We've been through so much the past 18 months. I can't bear the thought of, on top everything else, losing the opportunity to have more kids. We have so much love to give to another baby. I'm not expecting any of this to be easy, and we are certainly not wealthy, but we've made the commitment, financially and emotionally, to do whatever it takes to make this happen for our family, even if it means we use up our entire savings.
The ideal surrogate for us is a woman who is already a mom herself, is married or in a stable relationship, is financially secure, well-educated, mature and caring and has the support of her husband or partner and kids to carry our baby. As a mom myself I understand what it's like to go through a pregnancy, and feel strongly about fair compensation for the physical discomfort, mood swings, pain, and emotional investment. But I don't think we could make this work with someone who is doing it purely for financial reasons. It's important to us to work with a woman who is genuinely motivated by her deep love of God and her belief that by carrying our baby in her body, she is doing God's work and healing the world at the same time.